Seeking Self Care

I am a person who is full of flaws. I do not say this to depreciate or that I do not value myself, I just know what about me needs a little more love and help. If I have taught you then you know because I am very transparent about my battles with mental health. I have depression and anxiety and all of this news is sort of freaking me out. I have a son, he's about one and a half and I can't let him see it. He has no idea what is going on, he just knows he gets a few more hugs from his mom now that she's home all of the time and I wanted to have that mindset as well. I wanted to take those flaws and find a place of growth for me during this forced "vacation". I took some time and I thought about what really makes me happy, what makes me feel good after doing it. I realized that I loved reading but that I didn't always have the time, I loved being in nature, and I loved creating. After all of that self-reflection I realized it was worthless for me to sit and panic so I decided to make the most of this quarantine. 

I started with cooking. I am not a good cook, I could burn water if you gave me an opportunity but since having my son I try very hard to make healthy meals for him. When I am sad I tend to eat a lot of chocolate or something salty. To combat my strong love of french fries I got a subscription to a company called Imperfect Produce, which has turned into Imperfect Food. Their mission is to fight against food waste by giving cheaper produce that tends to be ugly.  It's a lot of fun, really, getting a package with ugly carrots is a highlight I have every two weeks. This subscription FORCES me to try new things, to make new things. I genuinely believe that the best way to fight against sadness is to create. I got a bunch of avocados, yes I am a millennial but I do not enjoy avocados, which I understand is sacrilegious. I started looking up recipes and I found one that would satiate my need for chocolate but still give me some use out of this "super food". It worked, it was delicious and I felt like I accomplished something.

I'm not saying you have to learn how to cook, but I am suggesting that you self-reflect and find what makes you happy and then try to do that thing. I have limited myself to three things a day that I have to accomplish. The three things that I choose don't have to be HUGE, some of them are just reading a book to my son, having a dance party for fifteen minutes, or calling a family member to check in. We are all in this together, and you cannot help others if you are not taking care of yourself. We have never encountered a situation like this before, and that can be scary but you are not alone, we are all growing through this together. Creating has not magically cured me, I still worry, but I know that in order to be the best version of myself I have to make an effort and give myself realistic and fun goals. So if you read all of this and you need a take-away, ask yourself, what kind thing have you done for yourself today?

All of my love,
Mrs. Brantley